Dads in the Limelight – PopDaddy Author Jeffrey Roach
Our 651st Dad in the Limelight is PopDaddy author, Jeffrey Roach. I want to thank Jeffrey Roach for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Jeffrey Roach with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
My name is Jeffrey Roach. I’m 51 years old and I’m a husband and father. I’ve recently published a memoir called PopDaddy, which tells the story of how Ken and I adopted our son from Guatemala in 2001. You can find out more about PopDaddy or order the book from Amazon
2) Tell me about your family
Ken and I met in 1991 and adopted Jackson is 2001. We spend most of our free time and weekends together as the three amigos.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The biggest challenge for me is co-parenting. I grew up in a family where my mom made all the decisions and my dad just went along with whatever she thought was best. Ken and I are equally vested in parenting Jackson, which means we need to get on the same page about a particular issue or expectation before we approach Jackson. When we forget to do that we end up looking silly and confusing Jackson.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
The advice my mom constantly has to give me is that you can’t always be your child’s best friend. Sometimes you have to be the parent. This is especially true as we have moved into the teenage years. Teenagers definitely try to test your boundaries and as parents you have to stick to your beliefs.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
I’m not sure I’ve found that balance! So much of my life is blended. I take off time during the work day to participate in something for Jackson’s school, or find myself answering emails before going to be at night. The one place I think it’s important to find balance is in your relationship with your spouse. Although we are a trio, it’s important for Ken and me to continue to have a life as a couple. And that means making a concerted effort to make that happen.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
More than anything I’ve learned that we all have similar struggles and that “this too shall pass”. Sometimes when you are in the middle of a meltdown, it’s hard to have that perspective. Talking with fathers and laughing about some of the stuff our kids come up with is a huge help.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
I never expected to be a father. As a gay man, I just didn’t think it was in the cards for me. I’m so happy that I was wrong. Spending time with Jackson and Ken is always the highlight of my day. I love my guys.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
After 14 years I still haven’t recovered from the first time I saw Jackson, the first time I held him in my arms. We had been working for months to bring him home from Guatemala, and the relief and awe I felt over seeing and holding him for the first time took my breath away. Ironically, that moment was the most difficult one for me to capture in my book. There’s no way to describe how overwhelmed, happy, terrified and joyful I was—all at the same time.
If you have any questions for Jeffrey Roach, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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