Dads in the Limelight – Patrick Quinn of Life of Dad
Our 652nd Dad in the Limelight is Patrick Quinn of LifeofDad.com. I want to thank Patrick Quinn for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Patrick Quinn with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
My name is Patrick Quinn, one of the founders of Life of Dad. I’m originally from the excellent city of Long Beach, NY but now live in Southern California. I’m the second oldest and first raddest of 6 kids. Before moving from NY, I worked in Brooklyn as a Special Ed Science and English teacher. Now, a solid 15 years later I’m still asked when I’ll return to teaching despite my 0% desire to ever do so.
Upon leaving NY, I moved to Hawaii with my wife for a year which was obviously amazing, but took some adjustment. Watching Monday Night Football at 1pm was a strange thing. Then we migrated to Arizona for three where we burst into flames during the summers and had our daughter. Shortly thereafter we moved a final time to Southern CA to be close to my wife’s family who had moved here from New Jersey. Since living here we have expanded our family by 1 and 8/9ths sons.
2) Tell me about your family
My wife Myra grew up in New Jersey and we met in college. We were friends for a while before we started dating (you’re welcome Myra). We have one daughter named Kayleigh who is 9. She looks like her mom (tall and beautiful), but her personality seems to be more like me. She is daring and stubborn and very outgoing. Our son Joseph is more of an introvert. He will be seven in a few months. He is more artistic and pedantic than our daughter is. We have one more coming…. Any second now. So we will soon have two sons, tipping the scales in the house towards the gentlemen.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
It’s hard to pin down a specific challenge that would be the hardest one to deal with. It all depends on the situation, the mood, the timing… all of the things that we adjust our parenting styles to. But I’d say the ones that stand out most would be when I first became a parent for one. Everyone goes through it and it’s a tough adjustment to go from looking after yourself, to suddenly having another person who relies on you for survival. It was difficult to let the old way of life go and fully embrace my new place in the world. Another big challenge I face, more on a day to day basis, is trying to work from home. I know it’s hard for my kids to understand that even though I’m here in the house, I can’t just drop everything and play with them all the time. I certainly am afforded a lot of freedom to do that. More than I would if I were in an office setting. But it’s hard to create that line for them and for myself. Plus, while working from home allows me SOOOO much time with my kids that others don’t get, it’s also SOOOO much time with my kids. It almost becomes hard to get a break from them. I love them to pieces, but we all need a bit of time to NOT be surrounded by the kids and to have time to ourselves.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
You’re going to learn to do things your own way, but you’re going to need inspiration from other places. Look at the parents you respect. Learn from them. Take what they seem to do best, the things that make you recognize them as good parents and make it your own. But, don’t compare yourself to others. Even the best parents you know, the ones that seem to have it all together are having days where they just want to scream. Soon other new parents will look at you as the parent to emulate, and you’ll still feel like you’re faking it every day.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
Merging the two. There is no other way. You need to be able to adjust what you do, and how you do it based on either having kids with you, or on how what you do is going to impact them later. You do what you can when you can if the kids are in school, or occupied with something around the house. And when they aren’t, you do what you can with them as an active participant.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I’ve learned that no philosophy is right. Nobody has perfected parenting. It’s all trial and error and trying to turn your defeats into wins. If your utter failure can be used as a lesson for your kids, or for your future self, you should consider it a win. All the dads I’ve interacted with have failed and have learned not to repeat their own failures. Or, at least they’ve learned to not fail quite so spectacularly.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Nothing in my existence has been so very capable of causing the roller coaster of emotions and feelings that being a dad does. It’s taught me that I can love to death and deplore with a passion a person, or persons simultaneously. Being a parent has made me grow and mature more in the past 9 years (since becoming a parent) than in the other 31 years combined. It’s awakened a level of responsibility and caring that I didn’t know was possible.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
It’s super hard trying to pick an experience, or even a series of experiences. I’d say that the most memorable moments are the ones where I see my kids doing something, or when they say something and I am suddenly aware of how far they have come. It’s the brief realizations that my shaping them and working and playing and encouraging them is working. That they are becoming real people with real opinions and real lives of their own. It happens often, so I can’t say one in particular, but those moments are the ones that most stick out to me as a parent.
If you have any questions for Patrick Quinn, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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