Our 723rd Dad in the Limelight is Accomplice Co-Founder, Chris Lynch. I want to thank Chris Lynch for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Chris Lynch with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself (as well as how you are in the limelight, for my readers’ knowledge)
My name is Chris Lynch, and I am from Yonkers, N.Y., and currently live in Boston. I am the oldest of five siblings and also have five children myself. I love to listen to music and go to concerts in my free time. However, the most important things in my life are my family and my career. Professionally, I am the co-founder and managing partner of Accomplice, a Boston-based venture capital firm that invests in early-stage technology companies, and for the community, I serve as an active board member for the St. Baldrick’s Foundation and for DLT Solutions. Additionally, I am co-founder of hack/reduce, a non-profit that is driving Boston’s big data ecosystem and shaping the cybersecurity community across the U.S., and I act as an advisor and mentor to dozens of entrepreneurs and startups. My kids are a huge source of inspiration for me, and one of my favorite things about my multiple jobs is working with many young, vibrant people who also inspire me and give me a rejuvenated sense of drive and purpose each day.
2) Tell me about your family
I may be biased, but my family is the best there is! I have a beautiful wife, Virginia, who I met at a coffee bar in Spain. She ordered an Americano, and I said, “I’m your Americano;” the rest is history. I am also lucky to have five healthy children, John (26), Nora (25), Alondra (20), Alina (13), Chris Jr. (10) Their age range definitely keeps home life exciting – there is never a dull moment! My family loves to volunteer at St. Baldrick’s Foundation fundraising events together and with my company, Accomplice, which is a great bonding activity for all of us.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Honestly, I can be a control freak. However, I’m a strong believer that – for kids to flourish – it’s important to let them experience life. This includes disappointment, hardships and failure – but, as all dads do, I also want to protect who I love, so it is difficult to let go sometimes. It’s hard for me to differentiate protection versus control versus love, since my initial instinct is to protect them in each situation.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
The first thing that comes to mind is to “build a box around them,” but allow them to experience as much of life within that box you create. Experiencing just a bit of failure, disappointment and pain can be good for them to learn and grow, but being a general safety net for them during those times is important. You cannot control everything that your children do, but you can be a general guide for them.
Being a dad, and having mentored many people over the last five years, you see more and more clearly that failure is a part of life; people need to experience failures to know how to overcome them. Life is about struggling and overcoming those struggles – you have to figure out how to make them work to your advantage.
Another thing to keep in mind is that children give you unconditional love, and adults should give it back to them. Having kids ages 10 to 26 brings an array of emotions. I often think now, how quickly they grow up and how my relationship changes with each of them through that process. Chris Jr., my youngest, is a constant reminder of what I had with my older kids when they were his age – how fleeting it is. They need you less as they get older, but that’s a good thing, because it means you have done your job – you have to decrease for them to increase.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
Transparency is important. My kids understand what I do, they meet my coworkers, and they are involved in work events and St. Baldrick’s volunteer activities. They come to work with me in instances when they are out of school early or if they’re attending a work event with me; they know the people and they engage with them well.
Also, several of my friends are also the same people that I work with, as I try to blend those two lives. It’s important for me to integrate my kids into my life in every way – including my work life – since my job is demanding and I do work a lot; but also because I think it’s vital for them to see and learn about that aspect of life.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I work with a lot of young fathers and fathers-to-be. In the case of St. Baldrick’s, one the benefits is the people that we have involved – some are married, engaged, young families, etc. – that is the composition of the team. Example, the chair this year is a young dad and it reminds me of when I first started out as a father. I’ve been doing it now for a long time – when I listen to a young fathers and hear the challenges and struggles of balancing building a career and fatherhood – (Chris is now at a different stage related to how he spends his time) – the younger fathers need a lot of time to build their careers since they’re just starting out, but they also have young children to think about.
Listening about how they’re balancing it, reminds me that we need to reconnect with what is important, like family. Although I never had the best relationship with my father, I remember a few words of wisdom he shared: “The two most important decisions you make in your life are 1) who you spending it with and, 2) what you do for a living. If you’re two-for-two, you’re going to deal with all the stuff human begins deal with, but you’ll be happy. If you’re one-for-two, you’re going to have a tumultuous life. And if you’re zero-for-two, you’re screwed.” When I had my first big success professionally, I was so proud of the accomplishment, that I shared it with my dad immediately, but he replied with “It’s not about how much money you make, it’s how you live your life.” My dad told me many things throughout my life that I didn’t listen to, but those two things really stuck out to me and made an impression.
7) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
There have been so many! The first one I recall is when I brought my oldest son home from the hospital. I’m a very squeamish person – I don’t like to see blood or anything of the sort – so I always said I’d never be able to change a diaper. This led to my family wanting to video tape me changing a diaper for the first time. Let’s just say it didn’t end well. It turned into a comedic video of my father shielding my face with a second diaper to block what was coming my way. Once the laughter subsided, my dad said, “Get used to that. You’ll be doing that for the next 25 years.”
Another memorable moment is how my son and I shared the love of baseball. We used to go to about 30 games a year together. I remember one day when he was older, he told me he wanted to go to the game, but with his friend instead. I understood, but, at the time, I considered baseball games as an activity that was just ours to do together, so it was disappointing.
Classic father-child moments like that. I also remember all my older daughters’ first dates – although they’d probably like to forget them – as well as when I dropped my oldest son, John, off at college, and had to put my sunglasses on to hide my tears.
If you have any questions for Chris Lynch, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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