Our 706th Dad in the Limelight is man of many hats and owner of Life in the Fishbowl, Matt Todd. I want to thank Matt Todd for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Matt Todd with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge).
My name is Matt Todd and I’m a man with many hats. Over the years, I’ve managed a pizza joint, worked in maintenance and lawn care, served as a pastor, worked in SEO/digital PR , and worked in retail. I currently serve as an Instructional Assistant in an Essential Skills classroom. It is more fulfilling than I had ever imagined. I guess you could say that I’m a Jack of All Trades, Master of None. I like to call myself a modern day Renaissance Man.
I began my blog, Life in the Fishbowl, around a dozen years ago. I used it to share some of my thoughts as I worked through seminary. It was also a great way to share my young kids’ antics with family and friends who lived several states away. It’s still going strong, even though my focus has shifted a bit over the last decade. In addition to parenting, I write about other things that are important to me: family, Star Wars, college basketball, football, and all of the great things to do in the Indianapolis area – sometimes in that order.
I also try to encourage my readers to do their best to make a positive difference in the world around them. Each of us has a unique blend of talents, skills, and experiences. We should be using them to change the world together. And we should be working towards raising world changers in the process, too.
2) Tell me about your family
I met my wife, Christy, in college more than twenty years ago. After much encouragement from mutual friends, I finally worked up enough courage to ask her out. For some reason, she wanted to keep spending time with me. And she still does, which makes me very happy. We’ve been married for 18 years and we’re looking forward to many more years together.
We have four kids in our family: three in high school and one in elementary. We’re a pretty conspicuous bunch in our community because we don’t all look related. Two of our children were adopted from Ethiopia. Because of what we have seen and what we have experienced, we have become dedicated advocates for orphan care (which doesn’t always mean adoption) and giving a voice to the voiceless around the world.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
While this is a special year in our family because it’s the year we were finally able to bring our son home from Ethiopia, this year has also been one of the toughest I can remember.
Adoption is a beautiful thing and I can’t imagine our family without all four of our kids. But adoption is tough. It isn’t for the weak of heart. I would say we’ve had a relatively smooth transition since February, but it has had its share of miscommunication and cultural misunderstanding along the way. It’s certainly a challenge to take a teenage child and graft him into your family. But I can tell you it’s worth it. And I would go to the ends of the earth for him again in a heartbeat.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
My dad was my baseball coach when I was a kid. I didn’t realize it at the time but this was a big deal. He had a lot of other obligations pulling at him, but he chose to be there as one of my baseball coaches. One of the key lessons he taught me was to keep my eye on the ball.
That’s important in baseball. But it’s also important in life – especially when you’re a parent. Keeping your eye on the ball means you’re staying focused on the main thing. There are a lot of distractions out there. Some of them are even worthwhile pursuits. But have to remain focused. Keep your eye on the ball when it comes to your children. Be involved.
I know everyone says it and it has kind of become a cliché, but this time goes by so fast. You blink and your tiny six month old has become a 16 year old who is looking at you eye to eye. Keep your eye on the ball or you might wind up missing something.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
Honestly? I’m kind of struggling in this area. Any free time I have has been taken over by my kids’ athletic events. In fact, I’m writing this while sitting in the parking lot, waiting for my son to finish football practice.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
We are not alone. There are times in this parenting journey that can feel pretty isolating. Although each child is unique and every situation is different, I’ve learned that there’s a pretty great fraternity of fathers with a wealth of experience for us to tap into. I’ve gone to my network of dads for support, suggestions, or just for a sounding board. Sometimes an outside opinion is the thing you need most.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
You aren’t going to have all of the answers. You can have a plan and do your best to work that plan, but everyone has a plan until they experience their first temper tantrum or diaper blowout. After that, it’s likely that you’re going to just have to make it up as you go along. But that’s OK, really. I’m pretty sure our parents were making it up as they went along. And their parents probably did, too.
So build up your parenting knowledge bank. Read books. Attend seminars. Talk to other dads. Seek counseling, if necessary. But be ready to chuck it all out the window if you have to. Because your kids are special. My kids are special. They’re unique. They need to be treated like the unique individuals they are. No parenting style fits all.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
It’s hard to name just one or two. I’ve been blessed to have some amazing experiences with my kids throughout the years.
Seeing your kids for the first time is a pretty amazing experience. It’s even more amazing when the kid is 15 years old and you’ve traveled halfway around the world to meet him. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that first hug.
One month after that, Christy and I took our oldest son with us to bring his new brother home from Ethiopia. I’ll never forget the moment they saw each other for the first time. It was a pretty special moment that I’m sure I’ll never forget.
Ever.
If you have any questions for Matt Todd, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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