Our 704th Dad in the Limelight is Joël Lëoj of the 3 J’s and 1 S website. I want to thank Joël Lëoj for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Joël Lëoj with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I became a parent in late 2008 and it took until February of 2009 for it to fully sink in that I was a dad of 2 children. I was blessed with 2 children that my husband and I adopted. It was a non-traditional method from how most become parents and that the children both came at the same time. My ideal was to have one children enter our lives and then another to follow. The ideal situation happened for myself and my husband shares in that sentiment. He and I both feel like the lucky blessed ones. To become fathers was a great joy.
I am in the ‘limelight’ as I met Christopher at Dad 2.0 Summit in Washington D.C. earlier this year in February. It was post my 36th birthday celebration and what a great bday gift. I was fortunate to be a Oren Miller Scholarship recipient. That led to me meeting Christopher Lewis. He welcomed me with such warmth and acceptance. One of the first to engage me and want to hear about me. Not necessarily about me as a dad but more as a person. He wanted to hear my story. This led to many more conversations and continued contact post Dad 2.0. It has blossomed into a friendship. A friendship that warms my heart.
![Joël Lëoj is the 704th dad to be spotlighted in the Dads in the Limelight series on the Dad of Divas blog]()
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
![Joël Lëoj is the 704th dad to be spotlighted in the Dads in the Limelight series on the Dad of Divas blog]()
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
![Joël Lëoj is the 704th dad to be spotlighted in the Dads in the Limelight series on the Dad of Divas blog]()
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
![Joël Lëoj is the 704th dad to be spotlighted in the Dads in the Limelight series on the Dad of Divas blog]()
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
2) Tell me about your family
My husband and I have been together going on 13 years this December. My son is 11 years old and entered middle school this year and my daughter is 9 years old in 4th grade. Having two children at two different schools again keeps this stay at home dad hopping and its only week 2 of being back at school. Ha! One unique thing about us is we all have a joy for movies, being engrossed in them, binge watching our favorite shows and one thing we have always done is go hiking together. From day one it has always been a great past time of ours.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The biggest challenge is uniquely my own. It is more than one thing which I will briefly state. As a Mexican American & newly discovered Native American Apache decent male who is a stay at home dad and gay has presented challenges which are still a consistent occurrence. I have learned how well I am able to handle prejudiced and discriminating behavior with class and tact. I am proud of how I’ve adapted to this new adult parenthood journey. I am able to learn new things about myself.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
My advice is more experience based. I will offer that parenting is figuring out what works for your family and yourself. Your way of doing things is unique to your family. Being able to try what you feel is best is a trial and error learning curve. There is no ‘one’ true way to navigate parenthood. Being a father is yours to make, learn from and continue learning as time goes on. I enjoyed my journey all the way. I know this is trite and more of a shorter answer. I just didn’t pressure myself to be this idealized father that was forever unattainable.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
As I continued to tell my story on my blog I realized I had more to talk about other than my experiences as a stay at home dad. I had many topics I would speak about. I had many things I enjoyed doing. When I am myself I was able to reach people. I have been able to affect others through my storytelling. I also have been able to still be home for my children. I am able to work part time here and there while my children are in school. I also recently became a staff writer for another blogger. I am afforded opportunities which has helped keep my time available for my children and husband. I do take time to really be in the moments of my life. There are many times when I am away from the many jobs (hats I wear) and be engrossed in my family. It takes more effort now than when I was on my very first week as a stay at home dad. This August 2016 is the anniversary date of when I had my very last day of work and my first evening as a stay at home dad. Seven whole years and I have had a lifetime of memories and more to follow. Wow!
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I have learned that I am kind I am smart and I am important. I fight a battle of discouragement and fear everyday. I fight that battle of how society is going to treat me for the one thing about myself that I can not change. I did have some time with depression when I first became a stay at home dad. I lacked individuals who were fathers like myself. I was the first in my friend group to become a parent. I was the trailblazer if you will. I was able to learn from fellow fathers that they too have experienced adversity for wanting to be that involved father. That them being at home was met with continued stigmatism and prejudice too. I hadn’t thought of what others may experience. My biggest take away is that I am just as much impactful to them as they are to me. What an awesome thing to have amongst my tribe. My found family.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
One thing that recently resonated with my was when my children were able to see representations of their family makeup on the film screen. To be able to be there living my dream and doing my dream job. A job that started out with me telling my story. The sharing of my life with the world, not ever did I think my father journey would impact the lives of others. How I am able to demonstrate to my children that hard work, determination, love and fortitude have been the pillars to my success. Having my husband and his support also strengthens the family traditional makeup of our ‘modern’ family. I am blessed.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
My most memorable moments have been the day I met my children. The first time my son said I love you to me. I cried the biggest tears of joy. Hearing my daughter’s second word be ‘daddy’ which I won’t ever forget that sound. I remember the first time we all looked out at the vastness of the pacific ocean, a moment that still is a memory which is the most silent memory in my mind. Stop look and listen. I remember the day my husband and I finalized our adoption. The day my children saw their two dads marry in their home state when the country and state gave homosexuals all rights under the law for marriage equality. There are many more memories and more to come. Being a father is still surprising and a journey that I enjoy.
If you have any questions for Joël Lëoj, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!
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The post Dads in the Limelight – Joël Lëoj of 3 J’s and 1 S appeared first on Dad of Divas.