Dads in the Limelight – Director of FOCUS Detroit, Eric J. Shanburn

My name is Eric J. Shanburn and I was born and raised in the Detroit area. I have a BA in Youth Ministry & Psychology, and Masters in Social Work and Masters in Theological Studies. I’ve been married for 15 years to a beautiful and highly intelligent woman and have super cute kids – 5 yr old daughter and 2yr old son. I am the Director of FOCUS Detroit (part of the national nonprofit FOCUS North America). My claim to fame: I was Butchy-Boy once on the Bozo Show in 1976, I won a christian rap contest on the radio with Marvin Winans in 1991, I served with FOCUS in Ferguson and caught some national attention in 2014.

2) Tell me about your family -see above

Besides trying to get a full night’s sleep…I would say dealing with my own baggage or issues with my own father. That experience shaped me and is always with me and it motivates me but I also don’t want it to negatively affect my children either and I don’t want to smother them. So I worry a bit about how they will turn out. Another challenge is to help them see beyond TV and all media devices. I think they would watch TV all day if they could. So we struggle with getting some down time or time to talk as adults and putting them in front of a TV or computer or smart phone. Another challenge is discipline, toddlers are cute but can be difficult. How much screaming can a human adult ear take?

I’m a new father so I don’t know if I can speak with much experience to back me up. But I would say what I struggle with but believe are most important is to be “present” with your kids and take time to spend, love, and talk with your wife -the kids will see that and feel secure, I believe.

Well, we bought a house across the street from my wife’s parents, so that should tell you something. We needed a little help. But I still need to do a better job of connecting with guy friends.

To live your life in such a way that your kids would respect as they grow up, and keep God first.

Whatever kind of person you want your kids to grow up into, be an example of that first. Also create time to laugh with your kids and plan family fun time together. Try to keep the arguments with wife away from the kids, but if you can’t at least show them how to forgive and make up. Let your kids know you love them and are proud of them verbally and in deeds. Celebrate their growth, and new discovery however small.

Their birth by far was an amazing experience. Their baptism was very meaningful. Hearing their first giggles, see the joy on their face of the first walk and run, and just the every day funny moments and chasing each other around the house laughing. But also the quiet moments at night after they fall asleep in your arms or next to you. They are so precious!