Our 664th Dad in the Limelight is John Cullimore of Chibi Kodama. I want to thank John Cullimore for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing John Cullimore with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I am John Cullimore. I live in west Tennessee with my wife and 5 daughters. I work as a customer service manager at a call center. My job is good, my boss is amazing, and I’m ever grateful for it, but my passion is being dad and husband.
I love being a dad. I love talking to people about being a dad and family life and ups and downs. It truly is my passion.
Where I’m in the limelight is with our music. As a family, we write a sort of all-ages indie rock. I take our life, whether failings or victories, and I like to turn them into songs that we can sing loud and proud. It’s called Chibi Kodama
This has become an increasing passion over the last three years. We’ve released 3 ½ albums now, and feel as though we’re just beginning. Along with this is the blogging that I do to go along with our music site.
2) Tell me about your family
Yvonne is ethereal and wonderful. She dreams big and doesn’t let me talk myself down when I doubt. She has mystical adventure in her heart and, if given the chance, would wander the world adorning it with beauty.
My daughters are adventure. They are ages 9 months to 13 years. Youngest to oldest they are: Saoirse (pronounced – sur-shuh), Story, Chasah, Adaryn, and Aletheia. They are artists in so many ways. There is never a lack of sketches, crafts, projects of some sort or half made ideas lying around our home.
They amaze me and I’m very humbled to be their dad.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Handling their emotions. I don’t mind talking about sex, periods, boys, God, life, death, whatever. But handling their emotions and learning not to crush their little insane hearts can really freak me out.
I lecture too much. I want to fix it.
There’s so much going on in their hearts, and I desperately want them to grow up free, uninhibited, merciful and objective. You know? I want them to be good people.
To answer more clearly, I guess I would say that my biggest challenge is my own fear of screwing them up. I’m not sitting here wallowing in this fear, though. No, I have to look it in the eye and tell it to shut up and just try. I can get up and be the dad that I believe I’m made to be.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Say you’re sorry, often. Seriously. Be willing to back down when you’re wrong or you go too far.
This WILL NOT undermine your authority. No, this will give you more. This will teach your kids that real men admit it when they blow it, back down when they’re wrong, and make their mistakes right.
Swallow the pride and say sorry and grow that real dialogue with your kiddos.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
This one makes me laugh. I used to try to do this. I used to try to make “grown-up” music to keep my “art” going. Once we found that we loved making this music as a family, however, it’s made everything fall together.
Sure, Yvonne and I do dates now and again. We like to have “grown-up” movie times and watch something crazy violent just for fun. Most of the time, however, we like working as a family, or at least in proximity to one another.
Maybe others would disagree, but, while I’m a dad, I don’t want to have an outside life. This is the life I’ve chosen. Sure, it’s good to have time with friends, but it’s also good in that to always have that thing on your shoulders saying “I’ve got a family to feed and lives to lovingly encourage.” Being a father shapes my life.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I’ve been blessed with some of the best dads I’ve ever met around me for the last decade.
I’ve learned that it’s ok to need help.
In fact, I’ve learned that most dads who claim to be able to BE “the one and only,” the source for their family, wind up making a mess of things. We need each other. Dads need a few other dads near them to vent to, confide in, and get feedback from. We need each other to help stay sane.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Don’t forget to put down your phone and snuggle. Actually enjoy the moment, don’t archive it for later.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
You know, you’d think it would be their births and such, and though those moments were awesome, they’re not what jumps in my mind. It’s working through the struggles and coming out stronger that I remember.
I recall times when I was at my lowest, falling apart, and having my girls encourage me to do what was right was life changing. Giving them the freedom to tell me when I’m wrong is life changing.
If you have any questions for John Cullimore, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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