Our 633rd Dad in the Limelight is single dad advocate, Jason Isaak. I want to thank Jason Isaak for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Jason Isaak with all of you.
- Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
In 2010, due to divorce, I became a dad with residential custody of my one son. Fast forward a few years and I began a blog (WWW.FTDAD.ORG) for single dads. I wanted to add my voice and my experience to some of the great content out there for dads. Dads with sole or residential custody of their kids have some unique challenges and I learned many lessons the hard way.
On the more general side of things, I am a native of Arizona, went to Baylor University, worked on Capitol Hill for nearly eight years and now am a lobbyist.
2) Tell me about your family
In December, 2014 I remarried and my wife and I have four kids in the house. She has three boys and now we have a total of four boys between the ages of 10-14. Needless to say, we go through lots of eggs and bacon at breakfast. In fact, we go through a lot of food at our home.
We recently got two puppies (Portuguese Water Dogs), so between that addition, work, and sports, we have a full life!
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
When I was a full-time single dad, I struggled to ask for help when I needed it. I had wonderful support from friends, but I had no family locally. The problem was my reluctance to ask for help because I wanted to 1) prove I could do it all, and 2) did not want people to feel sorry for me. However, it did not take long for me to realize it was OK to ask for help and that people genuinely wanted to lend a hand.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
I wrote a series of blogs called “The T’s of Single Fatherhood” in which I described 12 different areas dads should focus on. Of those 12, I keep coming back to making time for your kids to be the single most important gift you can give them. Not only is it fleeting, but kids remember when you gave them time and attention more than they remember what you got them for their birthday two years ago.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
This will look different for just about everyone. I don’t necessarily even believe in balance because the implication leaves you with giving 50% to parenthood and 50% to outside life – which I know is too literal and not how it’s to be taken. Instead, I’ve discovered when I give my son good quality time and explain to him I need my own time with friends…just like him…he not only understands, but learns the value to relationships outside of immediate family. I want him to be socialized and believe we dads can be great examples to our kids.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I’ve learned we share the same struggles when it comes to being a dad and although we may not have all the answers, it helps to talk it through with other dads. Learning from the experiences of others can save a lot of heartache.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
I’ve learned to accept much of being a father involves making honest mistakes and learning from those. You cannot read every book and apply every bit of advice you get, but you can trust your gut and sometimes have the courage to tell your kid you messed up.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
So many memorable moments – awesome ones and difficult ones – but here are a couple:
- My son’s birth
- Surprising him with a road trip to go fishing for his 9th birthday
- Waiting to hear what the judge determined about custody
If you have any questions for Matt, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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