Our 687th Dad in the Limelight is Rama Davis of Stone Wall Persistence. I want to thank Rama Davis for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Rama Davis with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
My name is Rama Davis. I just turned 40 in February, and am super excited about what this decade of my life will bring for me and my family! I am an IT business consultant, working generally with large fortune 100 companies on database and software projects. I am an outdoor and adventure enthusiast. I do a lot of whitewater kayaking, snowboarding, rock climbing, mountain biking, hiking, and more. I have lived in and explored some amazing places in the United States, including California, Colorado Washington, and now New England.
I have recently started a business doing high-performance men’s coaching. I have a unique story of personal struggle and triumph to share with other men, particularly fathers. I thoroughly enjoy sharing this story, and helping other men be better versions of themselves, as well as live their lives by their own design, fulfilled and happy. I have a personal mission to help men and fathers to break the mold, and find the power and greatness they already have within themselves!
You can visit my website, and read my blog here: https://www.
To learn more about my men’s high-performance personal coaching: https://www.
Or find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rama.
Email at rama@stonewallpersistence.com
2) Tell me about your family
I have one awesome little boy, Spencer. He just turned 2 a week ago. He has truly been the most wonderful thing to come into my life. He is in every way a crazy little version of me. He is so full of life and energy. He wants to explore everything, climb everything, do everything, etc. It is so amazing to me to watch him grow, learn, and soak up the world at his young innocent age. Every minute I get to spend with him enriches both of our lives in so many ways. I love being a father. The challenges, the smiles, the fun, the overwhelming love I feel, and everything else that comes along with it. It has changed me for the better in so many ways.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Like many others, I have challenges around balancing my time and priorities around work, me time, and daddy time. I have a full-time job, a men’s coaching business, and yet want to be there for my son as much as possible. I want to be very present and active in his life. I have also faced some different challenges than a lot of fathers. Before Spencer was born, I was facing some deep depression and anxiety. I knew that I had to make myself whole, happy, and better for my son. It was a long process, but I am very happy now, thanks to the motivation of being a father.
Additionally, after Spencer was born, I was facing a crumbling and unhappy marriage. While there was still so much love between the two of us, my emotional issues were too much for our family to bear. I was close to divorce and was working towards co-parenting. I did not want to lose the family we had, so used this as additional motivation to work on myself personally. I had the challenge of rebuilding a broken marriage. Today I am proud to say, myself and my marriage are better than ever.
My wife and I have worked out a situation in which we both have separate apartments. We are both able to have our own space, and yet share our spaces with each other. This situation has worked quite well for us. The challenges for me are to support both households financially, find the time to take good care of my mind and body and be there for my wife and son as much as possible.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
I have much a lot of advice for other fathers and am always accepting advice for myself. The first and most important piece of advice I could give is to take care of yourself first. It is common for a father to put his needs under the table to family. While of course, many sacrifices are necessary as a father, it is crucial to take good care of yourself. Do things for yourself. Take care of your body and mind. Put yourself first! If you are not healthy and happy as a man first, you cannot be the quality of father your children need you to be.
Find the balance in your life between work, play, and family. Whatever that balance is for you. If you have a busy schedule like I do, block time in for your family, and hold that time as sacred. Do not let anything get in the way of that special time with your children. When you are with them, be present and focused on them. Set aside work and other things in your life and bring your full attention to them. Listen to them, and encourage them to the be person they are in their own heart.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
My balance has not been easy to find, but over time I have figured out a good balance for myself and my family. The situation that I have, living in my own apartment a good portion of the week allows me to focus myself on my work and my health without distractions. I wake up very early, do my morning routines, and work on my side business, all before starting my regular job. After work, I spend the evenings outdoors, or in the rock climbing gym.
I also block time on my schedule for my family. We have specific days, and weekends where I can take some time away from my other responsibilities, and focus 100% on them. I block off every other Sunday for my personal adventures climbing, kayaking, etc. These things are a sort of medicine for my soul, and help me decompress from the stresses and responsibilities of my life.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I have learned so much from other fathers. There are many examples of what I do not want to be as a father out there. There are also countless examples of amazing. I have learned that you can achieve your goals, take great care of yourself, provide for a family, and be an amazing father, all at the same time. The skills learned in one of these areas transfers over to the other areas. I have learned of so many awesome accomplishments and stories there are out there from some great fathers. Most of all, through seeing and listening to many fathers, I have developed a design for who and how I strive to be as a man, husband, and father, and I am very proud of it! I have also learned the power of gratitude and appreciation for things large and small in my life.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
There are so many different situations for fathers out there. Many are in a whole family, and many are not. If not, do everything in your power to maintain a good relationship with your child’s mother. When co-parenting, you can teach your child so many reader’s life lessons in the way you treat each other as parents. I thought I was going to be divorced, and through building a co-parenting relationship, I inadvertently rebuilt my marriage.
Listen to your children and learn from them. There are always lessons to be learned from our children. They can be our greatest teachers if you stop and take the time to listen and learn from them, just like they are listening and learning from you
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
One of the most memorable experiences was seeing the ultrasound before Spencer was born. We got to see him stretch and yawn. In that moment, I was in awe. He became real to me. It was an emotional transition. Also, of course when he was born. After 52 hours of a really hard labor, my wife was not very coherent, so the first hours of his life were up to me. I remember lying for 6 hours with him sleeping on my chest. The doctors said not to fall asleep like that, but he was unhappy any other way. This was the first bonding outside of the womb, and it is something I will never forget.
Then seeing him want to move so much, he would roll all around the room, quite proficiently. He would barrel roll, sit up, turn, and barrel roll some more. He was so determined to get where he wanted to go, he found a way. Then learning to stumble, fall, and walk was a sight for sore eyes. Always he had and still has that determination and smile on his face.
If you have any questions for Rama Davis, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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The post Dads in the Limelight – Rama Davis of Stone Wall Persistence appeared first on Dad of Divas.