Our 631st Dad in the Limelight is Barnaby Pung. I want to thank Barnaby Pung for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Barnaby Pung with all of you.
1)Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I grew up on a dairy farm in central Michigan and am the first person in my family to graduate from college. In High School I was very active in theatre and even started as a theatre major in college. I love to play soccer and have played off and on since second grade, though recently more off than on. I also began training in the martial arts at age 10 and I continue to study and train today. I have over 15 years of experience in the field of education, working with almost every type of student population through several different roles at both the secondary and postsecondary levels. Currently, I serve as the Dean for the School of Business and the School of Arts & Sciences at a small private college. Prior to this role, I was part-time faculty in the Academic and Career Skills Department at Washtenaw Community College (WCC), where I also worked as a Career Development Specialist as part of an initiative to redevelop Employment Services for Washtenaw County Michigan Works. On the side I am an independent career coach and organizational consultant, have been a Mentor with the Michigan Shifting Gears Program, and am an Instructor for the English Culture and Language Achievement Summer School (E-CLASS) in Chifeng, Inner Mongolia, China.
I am not so sure about the limelight, but I have a few moments here and there. In 2007, I received the Michigan State University Team Excellence in Diversity Award for co-creation of the International Culture and Language Residence. I have also been recognized on multiple other occasions for my commitment to diversity and was Among the Top 100 Highest Rated Faculty at Washtenaw Community College in 2011. Most recently, my involvement in community development efforts through my role as dean led to my receiving the Golden Pinecone Award for Community Engagement from my institution.
2)Tell me about your family.
I met my love and partner in crime, Melissa, during our undergraduate studies at Western Michigan University. I followed her to graduate school at the University of Kentucky where we got married between year one and two of earning our masters degrees. We moved back to Michigan for jobs and to be closer to family. My two best friends from WMU are married to her two best friends from WMU. We all met in the residence halls, all got married within a 11 month period, and had our first child within 13 months of each other. These friends are family to us, and have played an important role in our own parenting.
Melissa and I have two children. Oliver is 9 (10 in May) and Charlotte (Coco) is 4. We love to travel together, play soccer, play games (board and video), engage in volunteer service together and we are all avid readers. One of our favorite haunts is the Vault of Midnight comics and games in Ann Arbor, MI. Everybody that works there knows us all by name and makes recommendations for us. The kids wow everybody with their knowledge, taste, and ability to engage in “geek speak”. Melissa works in Community and Economic development for Washtenaw County Government and is highly engaged in non-profit work, serving on the executive boards of several organizations. Oliver loves comic books, reading, video games soccer, any weird but true kind of facts, and wants to be a cybernetic engineer that designs robotic limbs for military amputees when he grows up. Coco is in ballet, enjoys tea parties, is obsessed with zombies, chess, and learning to read, and is an aspiring super-ninja-dance-rock-star.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father? Work/career choices are probably the most difficult challenges thus far.
Since completing my doctorate I feel like my career continues to demand more than I am sometimes willing to give. The higher demands and more rigid schedule needs of my current position are in direct contrast with my significant time at home and with a highly flexible schedule. I know that I am striking a fair balance overall, but there is definitely parent guilt at play.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Share your joys with your kids, but also give them space to find their own joy and then share in that with them as well.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
It is always a struggle to find a perfect balance. It is important to remember that success isn’t in finding and maintaining balance, but in being mindful of where you are. I currently work some distance from home and spend several nights away from home each week as a result. The counter to that is that I make sure that I do not bring work home on the weekend, if at all possible, and I try to keep my calendar open for family time. I enjoy the time I am able to spend with my kids, but I also need to remember that Melissa and I need time together as a couple to recharge our parental super powers as well. Lately I have been pretty horrible about taking time for myself, so I have been working on that. I know that I thrive on seeing friends, so one way that we strike a balance is to have people over for dinner. We love to entertain as a family and really enjoy being able to engage our friends over food, drink, conversation, and sometimes games. Bringing the outside to the home and vice versa allows for a connection so that they do not feel so separate. It also allows others in to different spaces enough that they become allies in helping you strike a balance.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
You have to be yourself and that may mean that you do things differently than other people. Be proud of being an engaged parent and do not apologize for choosing family. Build a peer parent friend group for yourself and for you and your partner. Commiseration and support go a long way to not feeling alone in the whole parenting thing.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
It is equal parts awesome and frustration. I think that sometimes you want so badly to do the best for your children that you can overdo and over worry. Kids will constantly surprise and amaze you.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
One of my most memorable parental experiences thus far has been Disney World. This may sound a little trite, but I never went to Disney as a kid. My first trip was when I was 32 and my son was 3. I remember walking into the plaza at the Magic Kingdom in Disney World with Oliver on my shoulders so he could see over the crowd. Seeing the castle in person was more emotional than I expected. I was struggling to finish my doctorate while working full time with a family and it had been a particularly rough year. Oliver put his head next to my ear and whispered “See Daddy, there it is! I knew the magic is real.” I couldn’t help the tears running down my cheeks. That moment, I decided to quit my job at the end of the school year and become a stay at home parent while finishing my doctorate. We added a daughter to the mix within a year and took an opportunity to travel to Europe for 10 days with a 5 year old and 3 month old. My wife was amazingly supportive (as always my champion and partner in crime) and despite tight budgets and typical dissertation woes, it was an amazing time for our family that set the bar for who we want to be together.
If you have any questions for Barnaby Pung, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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The post Dads in the Limelight – Barnaby Pung appeared first on Dad of Divas.