Our 755th Dad in the Limelight is dad coach, author, and speaker, Mark LaMaster. I want to thank Mark LaMaster for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Mark LaMaster with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my reader’s knowledge)
Hey guys! My name is Mark LaMaster and I am a dad coach, author, and speaker, who helps empower dads to become the dad they always dreamed of! My passion is to equip dads with the dad tools they need to develop deeper relationships with their kids.
Never in my wildest dreams did I believe I would be led to help dads realize their true dad potential, but around the time my son turned 8, things took a major detour in my dad life!
I realized that I only had 10 years left to teach my son the valuable life lessons he would need as he became a young man. I didn’t know what to teach him, where to start, or how to do it.
Over time, I read every parenting and fatherhood book I could get my hands on. I soon realized that I was spending more time reading about how to be a great dad than I was on being the dad my son and daughter needed.
Through a series of events, I ended up writing my first book, Friday Night Lights for Fathers and Sons, which, by God’s grace, led to coaching and speaking requests. I now have an online coaching program, Friday Night Lights for Fathers and Sons TRAINING CAMP, and have the privilege of coaching dads across the country. I am also working on my next book for fathers and daughters!
2) Tell me about your family
I am the husband to my beautiful wife, Jen, and the father to my daughter, Hannah, (13) and son, Lincoln (11).
My wife is an amazingly talented wife, mom, and nurse! Jen was the person that initially suggested that I write a book! She is my greatest source of support and encouragement.
My now teenage daughter, Hannah, has the sweetest voice, the biggest heart, and the warmest smile. Hannah is a focused and disciplined young woman who has a goofy side that most people don’t know about! (I think she gets that from her dad!)
Many say that my son, Lincoln, is my blonde-headed clone. While there are many physical similarities, Lincoln has many gifts that were not passed down from his father! Lincoln is a fun-loving, laid back tween who loves sports, reading, and interestingly enough, World War II tanks.
Some people recharge in social settings while others need quiet time. I, on the other hand, recharge my battery while in the company of my family!
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
In one word, fear.
Fear of failure. Fear of letting my wife down because I am not being the dad she thought I would be. Fear of scarring my kids for life because of something I did or didn’t do as a dad.
Over time, through reading, reaching out to others, coaching, and spending intentional time with my kids, this fear has lessened. I am not sure if it will ever completely resolve, and, to be honest, I am not sure if I want it to. Because, I believe my fear somehow motivates me to take action and reminds me that my time with my kids is finite and that my fatherhood clock is constantly ticking!
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
I believe that all dads have been gifted with the precise set of parenting tools that they need to effectively parent each one of their children, no matter the situation. Sometimes, though, we dads get overwhelmed with all of the other responsibilities we have and just need some help dusting off our parenting toolbox. Once we discover or re-discover those parenting tools, watch out, because we will soon transform our relationships with our kids!
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
For the first 10 years as a dad, I have to admit that I often focused on my career. I pursued my career with the belief that the more money I made, the better off my family would be. I was, unknowingly at the time, being selfish with my career advancement and neglecting my other roles as a husband and father. While money is certainly important, I came to realize that my wife and kids needed my time just as much, if not more, than the money I was earning.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
First and foremost, I have learned from my own father. While my dad was in college, he had the foresight to choose one career path over the other so he would be able to spend time with his family. Instead of meeting deadlines and client demands, he decided to pursue a rewarding career that put his future family first by enabling him to be home every evening with his family.
I have also learned powerful lessons from dads that I coach. That’s what I love about coaching. When we dads talk, we become better dads together! Dads have taught me to never quit trying new things to connect with your kids. One dad told me that the best memories are made when things don’t go as planned. Another dad taught me that quality time can only happen in quantity of time.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
While there is not blueprint for being a dad, if we overcome our fatherhood fears, ask for help, and take action to become the dad we imagined we would be on the day we became a dad, our kids will notice and will appreciate our attempts to develop deeper and more meaningful relationships with them.
We all make mistakes as dads, believe me, I still make plenty of them. But, we should never give up in pursuing our father and child relationships!
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Some of my favorite experiences as a father are the memories of my infant daughter and son sleeping on my chest, hearing them say “dada” for the first time, and being present for all of their “firsts:” rolling over, standing up, walking, riding their bike, going to kindergarten, and the list goes on!
But, I have just recently realized that, through my kids’ interests, I have been exposed to new experiences that I would never have done without them! This year, because of my son’s interest in tanks, I had the opportunity to drive a 16-ton FV433 Abbot tank and shoot a World War II STEN machine gun. Awesome! My daughter joined the Nordic Ski Team and I have learned more about cross country skiing than I ever imagined, even after living in Minnesota for the past 18 years!
Overall, I have learned that the more you put into parenting, the more you, your wife, and kids will get out of it.
If you have any questions for Mark LaMaster, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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