Our 719th Dad in the Limelight is entrepreneur and committed father, Brendan Hufford. I want to thank Brendan Hufford for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Brendan Hufford with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
Let’s be straight with something right out of the gate, I’m not any different from you.,
Honestly.
I’m not.
I’m a dad that cares deeply about his kids and is willing to work harder than anybody else to make our lives better.
It’s the reason that I’ve built two successful side businesses, sold both of them, and now run a digital marketing agency for photographers.
I build businesses. It’s my path. And although I couldn’t have articulated that a decade ago, that’s how it’s always been.
In fourth grade, I was the kid that found a way to allow other kids to play video games in school and then got them to pay me in baseball cards and comic books to do it.
I was the kid in high school renting CDs from the library and selling burned CDs to my classmates.
And then I was the guy at my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu academy hustling my own brand of uniforms (gis) to my teammates.
It’s easy, looking back, to connect the dots but it never looked that way going forward.
I figured my path in life was going to be teacher > assistant principal > principal > superintendent or something like that.
Until I got one step up the ladder and realized it was up against the wrong wall.
I went to school to be a teacher and I still think that it;s one of my greatest strengths. It’s prepared me to do keynote presentations at major conferences. It’s prepared me with the ability to teach (not just show) what I know to others and bring them amazing results. But climbing that path isn’t what I want to do the rest of my life.
2) Tell me about your family
Right now, my family is my wife, myself, and my two sons, Evan (3), and Finnley (9mo). Maybe that’ll grow in the future but maybe not.
My family comes only second to God and I’m fully confident is saying that because my actions map to it. Too many dads say their kids matter more than anything or they love their wife but then they spend their time drinking to escape the work week and playing on their phone instead of talking to their kids.
Actions indicate priorities. Family first, and then hustle until my eyes bleed.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
After my first son was born, I was thrown into the deep end in a big way.
I was more motivated than ever to build a business to escape a 9-5 that I hated, but I also had less time than ever before.
That culminated with me developing a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol. (side note: If that’s you too, send me an email or a DM on Twitter. You aren’t alone and I’d be happy to chat.)
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Giving advice to other fathers is something that I absolutely dread because so many situations (all of them) are unique.
However, he’s one genuine piece of advice that I think all dads need to know.
You can jedi mind trick your kids. Here’s what I mean:
When your kids are around, talk to other people about them in a positive way. Talk about non-physical attributes about them that you admire and even if they don’t show something strongly, talk about it anyways. For example, I always remark to my wife about how brave my son is and how he never quits no matter how hard something is. And you know what? He’s developing those traits in a big way.
Another way to do this is to re-frame things for your kids to allow them to develop their own thoughts on something. On a rainy day, try grabbing your son or daughter and telling them, “It’s a beautiful rainy day outside, lets go play!”
Teach them to be critical thinks and imbue in them the qualities you want them to have without them even knowing it. I believe all dads can do this.
Finally, follow your dreams. It is IMPOSSIBLE to tell your kids to chase their dreams or live their dream life if you aren’t doing it for yourself. Like with everything else, they’ll do what you do and not what you say so sacrificing everything you dreamed to give them a show doesn’t always have the affect that you would hope.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
I don’t even try to balance parenthood and outside life. Everything has meshed together.I believe that balance in this area is a myth. It’s either on or off. There are times when things have to be in favor of work, or fitness, or whatever and times when it can be focused on family. I think that having a total imbalance is actually healthier than dabbling is family and dabbling in something else. Go all in with BOTH and whatever you’re focused on at the time, be 100% present. There’s no sense in rushing home from the office to be with your family if you spend the first hour “unwinding” playing League of Legends and then the next hour thinking about work.
The key is to over-communicate with your wife and with your kids.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
Two things come to mind: Your kids will either run toward who you are and what you love or they’ll run away from it. Which way they turn is entirely dependent on your relationship with them and their mother. Protect both carefully. I learned this from my friend Shane.
Second, is that I know exactly what I DON’T want to be. I don’t want to be fat and out of shape. I don’t want to be physically broken from athletic pursuits. I don’t want to be mentally broken from work that doesn’t fit my skills or ambitions. Most of all, I don’t want to be absent. Ever. For any reason.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Lots of other dads are going to gripe when they talk about their kids and spouses. Don’t let them steal your joy. Outside of your faith and your relationship with your spouse, raising children is the most rewarding work you’ll do in this life. You’re a steward to these young men and women. They’re yours for but a very short time. Treat that responsibility with the reverence it deserves.
If you have any questions for Brendan Hufford, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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