Dads in the Limelight – Paul Kortman of Home Along The Way and Connex Digital Marketing

Our 667th Dad in the Limelight is Paul Kortman of Home Along The Way and Connex Digital Marketing. I want to thank Paul Kortman for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Paul Kortman with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Paul Kortman and I’m a 36 year old father of 4 and husband to one. Two and a half years ago we sold our hobby farm and the house. We spent a year flying around the world and now we’ve spent over a year living in an RV most of that time spent in Mexico and writing about it on a blog called Home Along The Way.

I went to school to be a youth pastor but ended up working in the IT sector for 12 years. After that I switched to Digital Marketing and then after learning the ropes for 4 years at an agency I started my own Digital Marketing Agency named Connex Digital Marketing which has enabled us to travel the world as I haven’t met half of my clients in person.

2) Tell me about your family

Becky and I have been married for 12 years. Becky is the stay home mom and primary educator for our kids.

Alia is our 10 year old, only daughter, and struggles with some impulse control and a learning disability.

Josiah is our 8 year old, He loves video games and movies. He’s an introvert and struggles with connecting with new people. But has really deep friendships once they get connected.

Thys is 6 and has just come into being too physical. He’s faster than both older siblings at book knowledge and school work, but struggles with not being too much of a wrestler.

Zander is 4 and was adopted. He brings laughter and joy to our family every day. We stay in touch with his birth family and he is beginning to understand what being adopted means.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

My father was a terrible example of being a father. He physically and emotionally abused me for the majority of my developing years. In the end we found out that he was bi-polar. Overcoming that script and loving my kids while disciplining without letting my anger get out of line or doing something I regret in 5 minutes.

My wife has helped me to see different ways in which I can love on my kids and discipline them with love, gentleness, and kindness. Kids are kids and they disobey as well as make mistakes, my challenge is to not make a mistake in response to them. Instead I work at staying calm, expressing disappointment if needed and consequences as appropriate.

I’ll never know what it is to want to be with a father, but from what my kids are exhibiting they know that feeling. Just today Josiah (8) begged me to quit work early so I could play soccer with him. It’s something I never asked for from my father, and knowing that at age 8 he has desire for more time with me shows that I have overcome (some) of the training I received as a child.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Work less.

I’ve made it my goal to be a part of my family and less tied to the office/computer/phone. The less I work the more we are in a good relationship. The best thing I can do for my kids is to be with them… quantity time produces quality time, you cannot force quality time into two hours in the evening.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

By bringing my outside life (work life) into my house. I work from the middle of the craziness, and take phone calls in a bedroom if needed. This enables me to know the ebb and flow of the kids day and to be able to help out as needed.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I’ve learned how to laugh at myself, and how to forgive myself. It’s very easy to feel guilty for not being good enough or doing the right things, but by communing with other fathers I’m able to realize that I cannot be perfect, I have come a long ways and I need to give myself some grace.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Kids enjoy adventure and experience. Our son Zander has spent more time outside of the US than he has lived inside the US. And they have begged and pleaded for us to continue to travel. They love it. Part of it is how Becky and I marvel and enjoy things we encounter and part of it is the fun activities that they get to experience each week. Instead of going to the cabin each weekend we go visit a place none of us have ever been before, like a mayan ruins, or a snorkeling trip, or hiking up a mountain. We find this keeps their attention and stimulates their desire to learn more.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Having my son cry when I had to be gone for a couple days on a business trip. He was 7 at the time, but having him be so attached to me that he cried when I left, cried multiple times while I was gone and then in the airport when I returned he clung to me for a couple hours. I don’t like that he was so sad, but man to know that another being loves me that much is something so humbling and memorable for me.

If you have any questions for Paul Kortman, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

——————————————————————————————-
New to the Divadom?
Please Subscribe to my RSS Feed! Subscribe in a reader
Questions?Drop me a line at dadofdivas@gmail.com

The post Dads in the Limelight – Paul Kortman of Home Along The Way and Connex Digital Marketing appeared first on Dad of Divas.