Our 846th Dad in the Limelight is Mark Scherer. I want to thank Mark Scherer for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Mark Scherer with all of you.
- Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my reader’s knowledge)
Hi there everyone! My name is Mark and my husband, Jason, and I live in Ohio with our adopted son, Jett. We have been together for seven years and married for two. I am a registered nurse working at a major hospital in the Quality Management Department. When I am not at the hospital, I oversee our newest adventure – our blog: The Gay Dads www.the-gay-dads.com all while taking on the new role as “Dad.” Our son was born this past November and we legally finalize the adoption at the end of May! I guess you could say we are in the “limelight” for becoming advocates for LGBT adoption, and helping gay couples achieve their dreams of becoming parents by sharing our experiences of adopting and becoming dads.
- Tell me about your family
Like I stated above, my husband and I just joined the Dad club in November when our son was born via adoption. We announced that we were starting the adoption process in May of 2017. We were approved in July and got the call that we were matched with a birthmother two weeks before her due date! Ten days later, we were at the hospital holding our son. So, needless to say, everything went SUPER fast for us. We are extremely lucky that we both have supportive families who all live within 20 minutes of us.
- What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The biggest challenge for me has been the process of adoption. Yes, the sleepless nights and the crying (sometimes SCREAMING) baby is difficult, but nothing compares to navigating the process of adoption – which is why we started our blog. We wish we had a first-hand account of what to expect. We are hoping to be that for anyone thinking about adoption (gay or straight). Don’t get me wrong, adoption is AMAZING, but having someone help you through the paperwork, the waiting, the emotions, is invaluable.
- What advice would you give to other fathers?
Don’t forget who you were before the little nugget showed up. It is so easy to get caught up in the role of Dad that people sometimes forget they’re more than just a father. Yes, being a dad is awesome but that shouldn’t be your only identity. You have to take the time for yourself (and your relationship with others – spouse, friends, and family) or you will eventually go crazy!
- How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
Do not feel guilty about taking “me” time. Both you and your spouse/partner need time alone AND time together. Parenting is stressful and the last thing you need is disconnection and resentment from each other! If you have the luxury of having friends and family willing to take the baby off your hands for a few hours, take it. Jason and I try to approach parenthood as just adding another person to our life. Yes, life is different, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up everything we loved prior to little man’s arrival.
- What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I have learned that we are all going through the same – excuse my language – shit. You might feel alone in parenting, but I guarantee you, other people have gone through, or are going through, the same exact thing! And it helps to reach out to others. There are so many blogs and forums for dads to connect with each other – it’s amazing to see all the hands-on-dads in the world today. We are a new generation of dads!
- What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
This is sooo cliché, but time goes by at supersonic speed. Take the time to enjoy it. Yes, being elbow deep in dirty diapers and covered in spit-up isn’t fun, but you blink and one day you find your baby isn’t so little anymore. And to the future dads who are afraid of holding the teeny-tiny humans: they are stronger and a lot more resilient than you think. Hell, think of how they entered the world…you aren’t going to hurt them!
- What has been the most memorable experience that you have had thus far as a parent?
Becoming a father is a surreal experience. The amount of love you feel for someone else is life-changing. Everything in the world stops when you hold him/her for the first time. Watching them grow from day to day and week to week is amazing. I swear they change just enough to notice over-night! I never thought I would be so happy to celebrate someone rolling over on their own for the first time, and there are so many more milestones to go.
Learn more about The Gay Dads on:
If you have any questions for Mark Scherer, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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