Our 844th Dad in the Limelight is Steven Swink of Daddio. I want to thank Steven Swink for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Steven Swink with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
Hi all- my name is Steven Swink and I born and raised Californian who currently resides in the Northern California area. I am a husband of 12 years and counting 
and have a 4 year old son. I have my master’s degree in counseling psychology where I supervise a team of 12+ clinicians who provide mental health and substance use supportive services to consumers. Doing that for over 8 years has allowed me the opportunity to understand a vast amount of personalities and perspectives. My most recent project, which has sort of propelled into this whole new world for me, is daddio. Daddio is a website a buddy of mine and I started to allow dads (and moms too) a one stop shop for finding family friendly events and activities nearby to take the kids to! We were tired of searching google for hours or hoping someone would share the next best event with us on their facebook page- so we said: let’s create a website for this. So…Daddio.io was born and since then it has been a roller-coaster ride of interesting experiences. We have had the blessings of being on local news (2 different stations) sharing the vision of daddio, hosted a Superhero event where we partnered with Joann’s Fabrics, Top Golf, and various other businesses to kick off our project launch, and have had some fun times sharing daddio on podcasts and blogs (like this awesome one). Since then we have seen over 1,000’s of users come find events through our platform. As the co-founder of daddio it has been such a cool experience to share with other dads the resource we are building.
2) Tell me about your family
Well in short- They rock. My wife is a mix of cool and sweet, compassionate and funny. It’s a pretty legit combo which speaks to how cool our son is. Parker, now 4, has such a cool personality and a big heart for just a 4 year old. The dude prays when someone gets hurt, makes “dad-jokes” up on the fly and has an amazing laugh. My family is one of the reasons I try to push myself each day to be the best version of “dad, husband, etc” I can be. My wife and I share the responsibilities of parenting and walk side by side in raising Parker to be a man who stands for something. I would be in huge trouble if I didn’t mention our 14 year old labrador- Madison. She is our “OG” kid and has been with us through a-lot. She was not too stoked on meeting Parker for the first time, but she is now his #bestie. Yes I just hashtagged bestie.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
How much time do I have?…ha. Well- in full transparency the hardest part was not being ready as much as I thought I would be. Before Parker was born I thought parenting would come easy. I have my masters degree, I have worked with families/children as an intern, and I felt like I had “life figured out.” Then welcome our son and it threw me. I didn’t know how to be the “old me” in my new role. I was struggling to find a balance of what our lives were like and how do we adjust to our new life. If there is one thing I learned as a new dad it is that your kid is your therapist. Ha! Seriously- he showed me the things I did not work on in my life before he was here. Once I started to learn from that, address unresolved issues, and explore how to fit the “old me” into the new role, I soon found my footing. The hardest part was looking in the mirror and changing the things I needed to change for myself and for my son.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
My advice is simple: Talk about it. Dads, we often go inward when things get out of sorts. We say things are ok, we shut down, and we think it will “work out.” It’s different when a human life is in the mix. Talk openly about everything with your wife, your buddies, ANYONE who will listen (who is supportive). My wife and I have a mantra: Get comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. We agree that we need to be ok talking about all things-even the messy stuff. By talking out loud what I was going through, it helped me process it and then find a plan to work towards resolution. Talking with other dads- I mean REAL talk- helped me to see we are all trying to do the same thing. If a new dad says everything is “GREAT” or “WONDERFUL” they are partially blind to the fact that the change will bring some things out and its ok to straight up say: let’s talk, bro.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
The balance of parenthood/outside life has really taken shape in the past few years now that I am more balanced as a dad, husband, business dude, etc. I have found that I need to recognize some signs that I am in need of some “me” or “adult time” before it gets too far down the “oh my gosh I am going crazy” path. My wife and I really do focus on our time with date nights, date weekends, etc, while also finding fun things for us all to do as a family. Outside life has really been fun as of late as we are exploring more things near us while also taking time away to recharge our own batteries. To get there though I/we made it a priority to do something within a good time frame of the last. By making a commitment to personal time, it has really helped establish that as part of our lifestyle.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
More than I can even share. But I will share the one key thing: we are not alone. I have yet to meet a dad on a blog site, facebook page, podcast, etc that has not been supportive of me as a dad or wanted to see how we can help each other out. The dad “network” we all share is one that I have found to be really embracing. So, I guess I have learned that being part of this thing called “dadhood” comes with some pretty cool dudes who are all there for one another.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
I would just share that while there may be some things that are not always the best on the surface, i.e. waking up earlier than you want, not being able to go to that adult party because a kid is sick, etc., the pro’s far outweigh that. It is such a blessing to be able to help lead a tiny human in the world, show them how to hit their first ball, how to cope with their first loss, how to see the world through their eyes. I would say that I have always struggled with being in the “moment” and I really try to enjoy the here and now, and soak up everything while I can as a young dad. It goes by so fast. A friend said to us: “The days are long and the years are short.” That is so true and for that reason I try to be in every moment I can. Put down the phone guys, and see the moment happen in front of you. It is something that we can’t afford to miss out on.
I will part with this: Be in the moment, not in the memory. Dads, new and old, we can’t sit by and think our kids will be close to us in the future, or we cant sit by and compare how our lives used to be, we all should do our best to be present now, create moments as often as we can, and enjoy the ride.
If you have any questions for Steven Swink, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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The post Dads in the Limelight – Steven Swink of Daddio appeared first on Dad of Divas.