Our 635th Dad in the Limelight is Mark Pellerito. I want to thank Mark Pellerito for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing Mark Pellerito with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
My name is Mark Pellerito, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service for the past dozen years who has lived in several parts of the country but am now settled in Upstate New York. For those of you who have never been to New York, “upstate” is basically anywhere outside the NYC metro area (which itself contains well over half of the state’s population in a small geographic corner). So believe it or not, we live in a land of forests, mountains, lakes, and waterfalls. Most of the time, I work rotating shift (days, then evenings, then nights; repeat) producing weather forecasts and occasional storm-related warnings for Central New York and Northeast Pennsylvania. Once or twice a year, I travel on a moment’s notice to a wildfire out west, or other pressing weather-or-disaster-related event, when dispatched as an incident meteorologist. Prior to working for the federal government, I was once in the limelight as a broadcast meteorologist for TV stations in Wausau, WI and then Battle Creek, MI. Then our news station shut down with no notice, leaving me jobless – just after we got pregnant with twins, bought a car, and got our first mortgage. Ouch!
2) Tell me about your family
Marisa and I started dating after finding each other dateless at my twin brother’s wedding. A couple years later, we got married. Autumn and Evan came along 15 months later, but given the job situation, we had to move to the windswept remote high plains of Northeast Montana for my opportunity to enter the National Weather Service. In 2006 we relocated to West Virginia and several years later had Emilia. Since late 2011 we have been in New York. Though we visit our extended family a couple times a year, or they visit us once in a while, we have been basically figuring out parenthood on our own as we go.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Raising 3 kids is hard enough; but the 4th one has been the most challenging – myself. Not sure why but apparently I was never quite done desiring to do what I want, when I want. There is this part of me that never grew up, that doesn’t want to deal with bills, obligations, etc. The selfish child in me wants the simplicity of just worrying about myself, eating well, exercising daily, exploring, and lining things up/planning things out perfectly. Silly me. However, with age and wisdom I have come to realize that if I waited until I felt 100 percent “ready” financially and emotionally, I would have paralyzed myself into never even starting. There are many things that you can only learn via “on-the-job training”. You will never have it all figured out, and you will always need to keep learning.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
You better be all-in. Realize that when you decided to become a father, you decided on putting yourself last. Your little ones are not just dependent on you for basics like food and shelter – they are looking to you as an example of how to view life, treat people, and work through challenges. Also, guard yourself carefully on your tone of voice and body language with your kids, especially if you are depleted/tired from work, etc. They are very perceptive and sensitive to what you communicate, verbal and non-verbal. And they are surprisingly good at sensing if you are not actually interested and focused on them. Be fully present; don’t be distracted away from your own children.
5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?
One day at a time. The rotating shiftwork (days, then evenings, then nights) can be a total wreck on outside life. Anything that is scheduled always on certain days of the week or times of the day, I cannot fully commit to because of work. Marisa works part-time as well. These factors without any extended family makes it challenging to make sure the kids are “covered” especially if anything unexpected occurs – someone’s sick, or there is a half day of school, etc. With two of our kids in several activities, and the third just getting old enough to also just be starting up on ones of her own, juggling our busy schedules is very hectic. Things like regular exercise, sleep, and time together (like a “date” – what’s that?) are frankly out of reach most of the time. I cannot say that I have successfully balanced parenthood and outside life yet, but I sure am trying.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
“If not you, who?” I find that the fathers who step up on this question – and do so with love and positivity – seem to be the ones most successful at parenting. Whether it is coaching, volunteering, or simply taking on hosting your kids’ friends at your house for some fun – dads who volunteer for these activities tend to have secure happier children who are also enabled to achieve more. Meanwhile, those dads who just “get forced into doing dad things because they have to” and are not fully present, have children that look elsewhere for the attention that they crave. So again, the question becomes “If not you, who?” I would much rather answer that question myself, then have my kids look for their answer through someone/something else. Anytime I feel bothered by the craziness of juggling family life, I get myself mentally re-centered by echoing that question in my head. And then I press forward with purpose, reminded of the important role I fill. I have befriended a couple of dads through our church, that I pretty much consider fatherhood mentors. They definitely help keep me on track!
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
I am surprised at how different each of my three children are, from each other and from me and Marisa. While there are some windows of overlap; each has their own temperament, their own style, their own hobbies, and preferred activities. I feel like having three kids is like having three new dimensions!
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Of course I enjoy seeing our kids pass milestones, do well in their activities, etc. I have some “Dad Pride” just like any other. But the most memorable experiences are, quite simply, times off together as a family. Honestly, with the competing schedules of my rotating shiftwork, Marisa’s work, school, and activities – it really is quite rare to just be able to hang out. We really treasure those times we can go camping, hiking, and/or exploring together.
If you have any questions for Mark Pellerito, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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